Weekend Guide

Get your gavel on at a cut-throat furniture auction and then celebrate with some stand-up silliness

Do you love nothing more than a good bargain? Do you have deep pockets but short arms? If so, the Phoenix Furniture Auction is for you. Held every Friday from 7 to 11 pm, this massive showroom liquidates brand new high-end home furnishings and decor for up to 95 percent off retail pricing. Previewing starts on Tuesday and continues right up until the auction starts, and all items are sold as is, with no refunds or exchanges. So make sure you really want that chair shaped like a hand, because if you win, you’re the one who’s going to have to explain to your significant other how it really ties the room together. (4848 E. Cactus Rd., 602-942-4035)

For something completely different, drop by the Tempe Improv, where our second favorite comedian named Mitch (RIP Mitch Hedberg) will be performing this Friday and Saturday. Yes, Comedy Central darling, Mitch Fatel will be bringing his peculiar mix of soft-spoken silliness and single-guy shenanigans to this famed comedy castle. Hopefully, this visit will go better than the last time the Scoop Factory hit the Improv, when Jerry Seinfeld personally scolded our table for laughing a little too loudly. In our defense, we were really drunk. (930 E. University Dr., 480-921-9877)